Overcoming fear : Judgement

Friday, 5 August 2016

Hey bloggies,
How are you all doing?

Lately I have been keen on letting go of an inner fear.
During a meditation, I came to realize that it had no reason to exist, and the only person blocking my fun was myself.
Some may know this, but I am fond of anime and manga ( japanese cartoons).
Aside from watching, I enjoy to study also the way characters, background are drawn and how the animation is being performed.
This allows me to gain new techniques and personalize it with my own drawing manga style.
But aside from the anime, the reading, the music and the language that also pleases me, there is another theme that got my attention over the years and it's cosplay.

I love to watch cosplayers interpreting anime characters, creating short (sometimes humourous) skits about a manga or telling its tale on stage while parading in the costume, sometimes sewed with their own hands.
A tiny voice in my head whispered timidly : I want to do that, it sounds fun.

But past experiences had let me install a fear that blocked me from doing so: judgement.

I had a terrible fear of judgement from others and even though I desired it so much, I knew I would have fun, I knew it would make me happy, I just ignored it out of sheer fear.

Do you recognize yourself in this? Having something you like to do but decide against it out of fear of people's opinion?

Over the course of time, I came to learn that judgement is merely a thought, and can be non-existent if I chose not to give it attention. What matters to most is my own pleasure, and so the only person stopping me from being happy in cosplay was me.

Judgement is a game with your own inner strength, stand above it, know your value, you can't please everyone, you never will and that's absolutely fine, the important is to please yourself : You before the rest.

If you have this type of fear, let it go, think of yourself, your own fun and will attract people that enjoy the same distractions as you. Those who won't are simply people that do not belong in your world and that is fine. If you receive judgments for that, it is not your problem to fix. You do not need to let that judgement inside your heart, you can just watch it pass by and let if fly away from your mind. You keep doing what you like and enjoy your life.

As a dreamer, I know that listening to anything that could generate a block or a halt to my dream is a thought, not a truth.
If I choose to not let it reach me, even if the sounds keep trying to get in, eventually it will give up, fade away and I will be the one winning in the end.

Feel free to drop a comment if you have something to add, or have certain insecurities regarding this, we can debate together about the subject.

See you soon!

2 Replies so far - Join the conversation

  1. You are not alone. I think many of us have felt this way - uncertain, uncomfortable, alone. I love what Elisabeth Gilbert says in Big Magic "“It seems to me that the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax, fear relaxes, too.”

    1. a perfect quote! And it just so happens that today I cosplayed and went parading with my costume and received only positive and sweet comments from people. Just another proof that the fearful thought in our mind is merely a thought and mostly certainly a lie


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